If you're from West Michigan, your childhood probably included a visit to John Ball Park Zoo, on the northwest side of Grand Rapids. And no visit would be complete without a climb on the John Ball statue. This past Saturday, I visited the Zoo with my husband and son (who is now all grown up).

I felt nostalgic as the fond memories of climbing the statue came flooding back to me. I remembered feeling the fear of falling off and yet how pleasing it was to rub my hands over the well worn, shiny areas that had years of polishing. I couldn't forget the slight pain of touching the hot metal that was heated by the sun.

It is comforting to see the statue still sitting in the same spot, and to know that as life moves on, that somethings still remain. It is kind of like a testament that 'I was here, and this meant something to me'.



This is a watercolor pencil drawing over pen and ink from my sketchbook, and for comparison, a photo I took for reference. For this sketch, I wasn't trying for realism, I was just playing with color and trying to work with the watercolor pencils. I wanted to experiment to see if I could leave the line, or if the water would smooth it all out. My dissatisfaction was that I hadn't left enough white in the highlighted areas of the statue. I tried to go over it with chalk pastel, and when that didn't work, I tried white out pen. But neither would bring back the white. 

An incident happened that is upsetting to me, that I am still processing. I certainly don't need to illustrate it, but I challenge myself to draw what is on my mind.

When I think of it, I am still moved to tears for a little deer that was hit by a car and in front of the office where I work. Fortunately, I didn't see it happen. We estimate that It must have occurred within the hour before I arrived on Monday. 

It was the deer that I first saw as a spotted fawn hobbling through the tall grass this Spring. I was so excited to see it. It was like witnessing a Unicorn or some creature from a fable. Every day at work to give my eyes a break from the computer screen, I'd look across the street at the vacant lot that is covered with grass and trees looking for that little deer. There were two of them, actually, that lived in that area. It was a treat to spot them nibbling on leaves and playing among the tall weeds.

I didn't see them very often - only a handful of times. But each time I could see them getting bigger and quicker. They usually appeared on a misty, rainy sort of day. They brought me such joy to spot them moseying along in their habitat.

Monday, when I drove into the driveway at work, on a similar rainy, gray day, I couldn't miss the large reddish belly lying in the grass next to the road. Its head was lying gently on the curb, as if it was taking a nap. I felt crushed with sadness. I told the guys at work hoping for them to share in my grief, but just laughed it off, saying it's a fact of life.

I didn't want to share this news to sadden YOUR day. But I felt like I had to share the grief for the little creature - God's little creature - whom I appreciated. A loss of life - any loss - is sad. I guess that is what makes life so valuable and cherished. 

So to make myself feel better I say a little prayer, or poem, that I wrote. It helps me acknowledge the life and bless it in some small way. I'll pray it for all the little creatures that leave us.  Here's to you, little deer. You were appreciated and are missed.

Go In Peace 

Thanks for the life 
that roamed the Earth and sky.
Tears for the loss,
and to say good-bye

Prayers for the soul
that breathed under the sun,
Send it off with love
Go in peace, dear one!

(or should I say deer one in this case)


PS. After the fact when I went to work the next day, I found out that after I left work, the other deer got killed by a car, on our side of the road. It is so sad. The animals take the brunt of our industrial expansion. They have no where to wander and live their lives.

Well, I made it through a whole month of daily decluttering. Thanks for following along on my journey. Now that we are into October, I've been thinking over my experience. Here are some things I learned from my DeCluttering Challenge.

I have a LONG way to go. I think I am working on the tip of the iceberg.

I still have a LOT of stuff. Even though I got rid of some extras, the amount of stuff I have is 10 times that. I am going to continue my journey to pare down my belongings. It is my current goal. I once read a post from a person on a minimalist web site who was trying to live a minimalist lifestyle, and he said that when his Grandmother had past away, all her personal possessions (not furniture) could fit in the trunk of a car. That is, her clothing and special trinkets and mementos. To some people, that may sound pitiful. But if you look at it realistically, she couldn't take it with her. How much stuff does a person really need? And what is the purpose - to leave it for your loved ones? Do they want it?

It is all about making a decision. Sometimes the clutter is there because I just can't make a decision. Facing the messy stack of clutter is depressing. It isn't overwhelming to clean, as much as it is overwhelming to make a decision with what to do with it. Sometimes it helped to literally say out loud "It has to go somewhere, where should it go….file, store, or let it go?"

It gets easier. At first it was slightly painful and difficult to lose my tight grasp on my items. But as the month went on and I was getting used to making tough choices, it did get a bit easier.

I had to go with my momentum - but give myself some slack.  I gave myself certain goals each day. But some days, I felt an emotional block. I just couldn't move forward with that goal. I thought about it and was open to other ideas, and I found that there was another task equally as important, and I could throw myself into. In retrospect, the reason I couldn't move forward with some tasks was that I hadn't been emotionally ready to face them. For instance, the bottom of my closet had personal mementos that I had to make a decision about. I had a mental challenge that I had to be in a particular frame of mind to tackle. I put it off a couple of times before I could face the task. When I was ready, making the choices was easier and cathartic. It helped to be gentle with myself and understanding in the process.

Enjoy my progress. Every little bit of decluttering helps. I have to encourage my progress and remind myself to enjoy the accomplishments, no matter how small. Feeling the rush of excitement when I walk into a room and see a decluttered spot, gives me incentive to do more. I need to recognize the achievement and GO WITH THAT momentum.

It helps to have a lifestyle vision. It helps me face all my possessions and to be discerning by having a vision of what I want my home to be. There are a few minimalist sites I like to visit online, and it is so refreshing to see each of them operate with less 'stuff'. Their homes are easy to clean with less stuff to clutter. They don't spend time and money worrying about what to wear because they have a few pieces that work well together. If they need to move or go on vacation, they just pack their few possessions and go. It seems wonderful to me. When I imagine my home that way, I hold that vision in my mind, and as I pick up each item I ask myself "Does this fit in that vision?" And usually the answer is NO, and I can live with that - so out it goes.

It doesn't help to remove clutter, if there is still more stuff coming in. This is a relatively new way of looking at things for me. This is my new approach to keep from bring in more stuff:

Have a plan. I am a collector by nature. If I see something pretty, interesting, or useful, then I want it. I can talk myself into and justify almost anything.  I've learned that I need to give myself boundaries. My boundaries are my vision and my list. Before I take something into my home and life, I have to see if it is in my plan or on my 'necessary' list. If it isn't, then I have talk myself out of wanting it and bypass it.

Have a buying list. This goes along with my plan. As I go through my day, if there is something I really need, I write it on a list. Or if I see a gap in my home routine or wardrobe, or an item that will make my life easier and fit into my vision, then I write in on a list. Then, I only allow myself to buy what is on my list. As I surf the internet, it is easy to be tempted by hundred of items that pass by me. Let's say a beautiful teal cardigan goes on sale, or a fabulous new mop (one that I am convinced would will make my life easier), then I feel compelled to get it. Right? So what I have to do is to consult my list. Is it on the list? Nope. I have to let it pass.

That's it! So, overall I am really happy with this experience. I thank you for going along with me and for your support and encouragement. I can't believe that a whole month has flown by. My goal was 465 items. I actually eliminated 859! I feel lighter and freer. Ahhhhh. I'm going to keep at it. (Don't worry, I won't be posting my progress every single day.) I have to admit, that it is getting easier to part with junk…I mean possessions. My husband and son are even eliminating some stuff. It took years to accumulate, so I imagine it'll take some time to let it go. We'll see where we are a year from now.

I'll keep working on it!

If you want to read my daily comments about my 30-day decluttering challenge, and see my progress through pictures, you can click on this link.

Well…here we are…half-way through the month of September, and half-way through my DeCluttering Challenge. Thanks for being beside me on my journey. I hope you don't find my posts annoying or pompous. I've decided to do this challenge publicly to hold myself accountable. I figure if you know my goals, then I can't shirk them. It seems to help me.

So far as of yesterday, day 14, I have eliminated 485 items that were cluttering up my space. Some days I've dug up a few more than was expected. I am happy to say that for the WHOLE MONTH my goal was 465 items (as the challenge designates), but, half-way through I am already at 485. That makes me feel good and takes some of the pressure off.

I don't know if you are like me or not, in the way that as soon as there is a goal set, then I feel anxious and stressed. Like the first week of school or college. As soon as the Professor/Teacher hands out a syllabus, I feel internal stress about whether I can achieve the level of perfection required or can complete a given task. The process is all internal. THAT is what I've been trying to avoid in this challenge. I wanted it to be exciting and liberating NOT another added stress in my life.

So far, so good. I've had a few moments of panic. My plan is to continue with the closet and drawers, and move onto the linen closet. I still have the two high traffic horizontal spaces that I want to eliminate clutter (telephone shelf and kitchen table). Before I can clean, I need to figure out a system of where to put the items that have to be easily accessible. If I had it figured out I would have done it already. So those spots are a big challenge to me. Hopefully I can come up with something that works.

This illustration is of my GOAL. I'm a long way off, but am making progress. This was done with Prisma Colored Pencils and a watercolor wash on watercolor paper.

I'm working on it! 

After this loooooooong winter, spring has sprung in Michigan! The trees now have tiny buds, and green is making its way up from the earth and is emerging from the brownish-gray branches. I love the vibrancy of the green. This is a watercolor base over which I worked some chalk pastel and prisma pencil. I tried to capture a splash of green….not too fussy. I love the awakening of color.

I walk outside and feel a bit claustrophobic.  This is my new take on an old Nursery Rhyme. You may remember the Old Woman who lived in a shoe? I feel like her, only I have so much SNOW, I don't know what to do!

Welcome to my first post on my very first blog in the very first month of the very new year.  This blog is my way of  sharing with you what is on my 'drawing board'.  Thanks for looking at things through my perspective.

My corner of the world has recently gotten MUCH smaller and whiter.