Ann G Rusky
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That Dreaded Purple Marker

8/26/2022

6 Comments

 
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That dreaded purple marker that my breast surgeon uses to mark the shape of things to come. It is messy and difficult to remove. She likes to generously mark where cut lines will be and what to expect. The purple line is evidence of change, but what can prepare a person for that sort of life changing step?

I currently attempting to make preparations for surgery which will be in a few days. Blood is drawn and the marker is scoured away. Now I just tie up loose ends like end of month bills, and wait for surgery and subsequent results. But, what should I do while in this transitional stage?

At this moment, I still have my breasts which I have kind of gotten attached to. In the early years they signaled change and the mystery of growing up. In my young adult years they symbolized coming to terms with my grown up body, and autonomy. As a young mom, I am grateful they were givers of life and sustenance for my baby. It's so odd to think they are growing cancer cells and my body is feeding that growth as if its life depends on it, when the opposite is actually happening.

I am trying to stay in the moment; this moment that God has blessed me with. It is truly paralyzing to think of what may come (for those are the thoughts that race through my mind as I try to fall asleep, or are the first thoughts upon waking). I can't let myself get caught up in the 'why' and 'what could I have done differently to prevent it'. And I can't let myself get caught up in 'what is going to happen to my son, and husband, and family, without me'. Those kinds of thoughts cease me up and bring me to tears. So instead, I breathe and take this moment of peace and gratitude and love the people around me, and do what I have to do.

So, thank you breasts for serving me well. I will move on from here doing whatever I can for health and preservation. Thank you to my friends and family, who have crossed my path for a while, or have walked this life together. I'll try to stay grateful and remain p r e s e n t because there is peace in that.

I am working on it.


6 Comments
Carol Jacoby
8/26/2022 12:32:57 pm

Praying for you Ann. When I had my annual physical a couple of weeks ago my doctor told me 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer. Sobering odds. I will keep you in my prayers.

Reply
Ann G R
8/26/2022 12:43:10 pm

Thank you, Carol! That means a lot.

Reply
Jennifer Gilman
8/26/2022 12:40:38 pm

Praying for you, Ann. For peace, courage, healing, and smooth recovery from surgery. For steady hands and focus for your surgeon. Wisdom for your oncologist, you and Jim. It is encouraging to know of so many who have made this journey and lived rich lives for decades more, and I am confident in this for you as well.

Reply
Ann G R
8/26/2022 12:43:57 pm

Thank you, Jennifer! Your prayers are appreciated!

Reply
Frank A. Hammond
9/7/2022 08:51:10 pm

Thinking of you Ann , you know the sweetest people I know are the strongest , they always seem to have that big heart for others just like you . So if you don't mind , I would like to put you in a prayer or two , hoping , and , praying for the best outcomes .....

Reply
window cleaning grand rapids mi link
11/11/2022 09:02:33 am

Thank you for the courage of sharing

Reply



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    Hi. I'm Ann.

    Welcome to
    My Drawing Board Blog.

    This is where I post my current thoughts and ideas about the topics that resonate with me, and how I work them out as illustrations. This is my work in progress.

    As an artist, I love to see the beauty in the world around me. I enjoy the play of color, patterns, and light. It is a challenge for me to try to capture the thoughts and images that inspire me.

    Sometimes, I like to quickly scratch ideas on paper. Other times, I like to take my time and work through images with color. 

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    ​Getting Creative About Functioning with LESS
    .


    Creativity takes on many forms. Currently, I am on a journey to live with LESS and I am trying to Make <LESS> Work for me and my family. 

    Hopefully my goal will inspire my whole household to make conscious decisions about our home environment and what we REALLY need to own. 

    My personal goal is to eliminate clutter, and make our surroundings creatively functional and beautiful.

    I am grateful to be able to share my thoughts, and illustrations with you.

    We'll see where this journey takes me!


    Make <Less> Work
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    < Household Products
    < Processed Food
    < Boxes & Stuff
    < Getting More Organized
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