I just got the news that a dear, dear friend passed away today.  I feel like I am missing my guardian angel.

Beverly M. is a very kind soul, with a quick wit and bubbly sense of humor. She enjoyed reading and loved her family most of all.  She is one of those people where it feels like I've known her my whole life, but in reality, I've only known her for 6 years.

I am going to miss her willingness to listen, her kindness, her giggle, but most of all her knowledge. She was my mentor of sorts. She helped me start in the part-time job I am currently working. She helped me navigate the bookkeeping system, and office workflow. She had collected a lifetime of bookkeeping knowledge and practical life experience and shared that with me as needed. In the beginning, she sat next to me, to figuratively hold my hand through the learning process, and stayed with me as my 'phone-a-friend' up until the end.

I already miss her for being 'her', but I will also miss her because I feel like I am alone without a safety net. She will no longer be there to answer my questions, or give me moral support to help me through the next quandary. I feel a bit of panic inside because I don't have her to fall back on when the next question arises. I feel like I am approaching my work, very much alone. Like I am in a free-fall.

This scary, sickening feeling is one I've had before. That lost feeling occurred a few years back when another friend and mentor had suddenly passed away. Juliet was so kind, and sweet, and caring. It still feels a bit like a stab in the heart to think she was taken so swiftly. I didn't know she was critical, nor did I get to say good-bye. Juliet was like a life-buoy for me, and to others in the Grand Rapids area. She led a Homeopathic Study Group and was a figurative giant in the La Leche League community. She was the one I would call when, as a new mother, my son would spike a fever late at night I didn't know what to do. She had such a soothing voice and demeanor, and always guided me to the right course of action. I still feel that slight panic when I am facing an emergency. I feel gripped inside with the realization that I can't reach out to her for advice or help. And she isn't in some state of waiting to spring into action when I call.

When I analyze our friendships, beyond who they were personally, I'd say both of those women held iconic roles for me or were archetypes. They were caring, nurturing, informative, and guiding. They were both 'mother' figures in a sense.  "The archetypal mother figure is loving and supporting. They are the rock the Hero can fall back on when needed."

I guess I need to work through those losses and come to the realization that I have the power and the ability to hear the inner voice, and ask the right questions, to find out the information for myself. I am the 'hero' of my own story, and I need to deal with how to handle the questions that arise without their direction. I need to somehow internalize that support as needed. If I listen quietly, I can hear Beverly's way of asking the right questions in a calm way, and untangling the mess of things like unraveling a tangled ball of yarn. She had that power to step back and talk herself through a situation. I need to ask myself "WWBD" (What would Beverly do?)  And likewise, when I am in a medical situation, I can hear  Juliet's gentle, empathetic sigh, and her voice in my mind asking questions. I always ask myself WWJD (What would Juliet do?).

I still grapple with existential questions of how one person can be here one moment, and not the next? How can they have space and a life and then be gone? My faith tells me, they are just gone from view, but not from spirit. I believe their spirit or soul is released from the constraints of the body but now can operate on a larger plan with the Will of God or the Universe. I also have faith that when help is needed, I just need to ask. I have to remember that.

Of course, it is easiest to get my help from a person in the flesh. It is preferable to make a call and hear a reassuring voice on the end of the line. That is why I am SO GRATEFUL for all the times Bevely and Juliet have been a life-line to me. It is an honor to have known and loved each of them, the short time we had together. I appreciate all their support. They did what they knew and loved, and shared that with me.  I am thankful their words and phrases still echo in my mind. Now, rather than being a voice on the phone, they are like angels over my shoulders.

Thank you Beverly, and thank you Juliet, may flights of angels lead you on your way! And my condolences to your families and the ones who love and miss you.

I hope to continue your work and make you proud. Maybe one day I can be a calming voice of assurance in someone else's mind.

I'm working on it.

It's that time of year again...the first full weekend in June. I look forward to the Festival of the Arts all year. The smoke from the grills, and scents of spicy concoctions make my mouth water and my spirit soar. I love walking through the crowds of people and hearing snippets of conversations. The music for each of the stages is as varied as people and food. I enjoy finding a spot to sit, nibbling on a treat, and watching the people go by. This year, I already got an elephant ear slathered in cherry pie filling, and something new called a Polish Burrito. It had kielbasa, kapusta and mashed potatoes all rolled in a flour tortilla. It was MUCH better than it sounded. Yummy.

This Friday night visit, I remembered my sketchbook (but forgot my camera). So here is one sketch I did. I was trying to capture the light and shadow of the skyline view from one stage.

I look forward to my visit today....we're heading back downtown!

An incident happened that is upsetting to me, that I am still processing. I certainly don't need to illustrate it, but I challenge myself to draw what is on my mind.

When I think of it, I am still moved to tears for a little deer that was hit by a car and in front of the office where I work. Fortunately, I didn't see it happen. We estimate that It must have occurred within the hour before I arrived on Monday. 

It was the deer that I first saw as a spotted fawn hobbling through the tall grass this Spring. I was so excited to see it. It was like witnessing a Unicorn or some creature from a fable. Every day at work to give my eyes a break from the computer screen, I'd look across the street at the vacant lot that is covered with grass and trees looking for that little deer. There were two of them, actually, that lived in that area. It was a treat to spot them nibbling on leaves and playing among the tall weeds.

I didn't see them very often - only a handful of times. But each time I could see them getting bigger and quicker. They usually appeared on a misty, rainy sort of day. They brought me such joy to spot them moseying along in their habitat.

Monday, when I drove into the driveway at work, on a similar rainy, gray day, I couldn't miss the large reddish belly lying in the grass next to the road. Its head was lying gently on the curb, as if it was taking a nap. I felt crushed with sadness. I told the guys at work hoping for them to share in my grief, but just laughed it off, saying it's a fact of life.

I didn't want to share this news to sadden YOUR day. But I felt like I had to share the grief for the little creature - God's little creature - whom I appreciated. A loss of life - any loss - is sad. I guess that is what makes life so valuable and cherished. 

So to make myself feel better I say a little prayer, or poem, that I wrote. It helps me acknowledge the life and bless it in some small way. I'll pray it for all the little creatures that leave us.  Here's to you, little deer. You were appreciated and are missed.

Go In Peace 

Thanks for the life 
that roamed the Earth and sky.
Tears for the loss,
and to say good-bye

Prayers for the soul
that breathed under the sun,
Send it off with love
Go in peace, dear one!

(or should I say deer one in this case)


PS. After the fact when I went to work the next day, I found out that after I left work, the other deer got killed by a car, on our side of the road. It is so sad. The animals take the brunt of our industrial expansion. They have no where to wander and live their lives.

Well, I made it through a whole month of daily decluttering. Thanks for following along on my journey. Now that we are into October, I've been thinking over my experience. Here are some things I learned from my DeCluttering Challenge.

I have a LONG way to go. I think I am working on the tip of the iceberg.

I still have a LOT of stuff. Even though I got rid of some extras, the amount of stuff I have is 10 times that. I am going to continue my journey to pare down my belongings. It is my current goal. I once read a post from a person on a minimalist web site who was trying to live a minimalist lifestyle, and he said that when his Grandmother had past away, all her personal possessions (not furniture) could fit in the trunk of a car. That is, her clothing and special trinkets and mementos. To some people, that may sound pitiful. But if you look at it realistically, she couldn't take it with her. How much stuff does a person really need? And what is the purpose - to leave it for your loved ones? Do they want it?

It is all about making a decision. Sometimes the clutter is there because I just can't make a decision. Facing the messy stack of clutter is depressing. It isn't overwhelming to clean, as much as it is overwhelming to make a decision with what to do with it. Sometimes it helped to literally say out loud "It has to go somewhere, where should it go….file, store, or let it go?"

It gets easier. At first it was slightly painful and difficult to lose my tight grasp on my items. But as the month went on and I was getting used to making tough choices, it did get a bit easier.

I had to go with my momentum - but give myself some slack.  I gave myself certain goals each day. But some days, I felt an emotional block. I just couldn't move forward with that goal. I thought about it and was open to other ideas, and I found that there was another task equally as important, and I could throw myself into. In retrospect, the reason I couldn't move forward with some tasks was that I hadn't been emotionally ready to face them. For instance, the bottom of my closet had personal mementos that I had to make a decision about. I had a mental challenge that I had to be in a particular frame of mind to tackle. I put it off a couple of times before I could face the task. When I was ready, making the choices was easier and cathartic. It helped to be gentle with myself and understanding in the process.

Enjoy my progress. Every little bit of decluttering helps. I have to encourage my progress and remind myself to enjoy the accomplishments, no matter how small. Feeling the rush of excitement when I walk into a room and see a decluttered spot, gives me incentive to do more. I need to recognize the achievement and GO WITH THAT momentum.

It helps to have a lifestyle vision. It helps me face all my possessions and to be discerning by having a vision of what I want my home to be. There are a few minimalist sites I like to visit online, and it is so refreshing to see each of them operate with less 'stuff'. Their homes are easy to clean with less stuff to clutter. They don't spend time and money worrying about what to wear because they have a few pieces that work well together. If they need to move or go on vacation, they just pack their few possessions and go. It seems wonderful to me. When I imagine my home that way, I hold that vision in my mind, and as I pick up each item I ask myself "Does this fit in that vision?" And usually the answer is NO, and I can live with that - so out it goes.

It doesn't help to remove clutter, if there is still more stuff coming in. This is a relatively new way of looking at things for me. This is my new approach to keep from bring in more stuff:

Have a plan. I am a collector by nature. If I see something pretty, interesting, or useful, then I want it. I can talk myself into and justify almost anything.  I've learned that I need to give myself boundaries. My boundaries are my vision and my list. Before I take something into my home and life, I have to see if it is in my plan or on my 'necessary' list. If it isn't, then I have talk myself out of wanting it and bypass it.

Have a buying list. This goes along with my plan. As I go through my day, if there is something I really need, I write it on a list. Or if I see a gap in my home routine or wardrobe, or an item that will make my life easier and fit into my vision, then I write in on a list. Then, I only allow myself to buy what is on my list. As I surf the internet, it is easy to be tempted by hundred of items that pass by me. Let's say a beautiful teal cardigan goes on sale, or a fabulous new mop (one that I am convinced would will make my life easier), then I feel compelled to get it. Right? So what I have to do is to consult my list. Is it on the list? Nope. I have to let it pass.

That's it! So, overall I am really happy with this experience. I thank you for going along with me and for your support and encouragement. I can't believe that a whole month has flown by. My goal was 465 items. I actually eliminated 859! I feel lighter and freer. Ahhhhh. I'm going to keep at it. (Don't worry, I won't be posting my progress every single day.) I have to admit, that it is getting easier to part with junk…I mean possessions. My husband and son are even eliminating some stuff. It took years to accumulate, so I imagine it'll take some time to let it go. We'll see where we are a year from now.

I'll keep working on it!

If you want to read my daily comments about my 30-day decluttering challenge, and see my progress through pictures, you can click on this link.

Well…here we are…half-way through the month of September, and half-way through my DeCluttering Challenge. Thanks for being beside me on my journey. I hope you don't find my posts annoying or pompous. I've decided to do this challenge publicly to hold myself accountable. I figure if you know my goals, then I can't shirk them. It seems to help me.

So far as of yesterday, day 14, I have eliminated 485 items that were cluttering up my space. Some days I've dug up a few more than was expected. I am happy to say that for the WHOLE MONTH my goal was 465 items (as the challenge designates), but, half-way through I am already at 485. That makes me feel good and takes some of the pressure off.

I don't know if you are like me or not, in the way that as soon as there is a goal set, then I feel anxious and stressed. Like the first week of school or college. As soon as the Professor/Teacher hands out a syllabus, I feel internal stress about whether I can achieve the level of perfection required or can complete a given task. The process is all internal. THAT is what I've been trying to avoid in this challenge. I wanted it to be exciting and liberating NOT another added stress in my life.

So far, so good. I've had a few moments of panic. My plan is to continue with the closet and drawers, and move onto the linen closet. I still have the two high traffic horizontal spaces that I want to eliminate clutter (telephone shelf and kitchen table). Before I can clean, I need to figure out a system of where to put the items that have to be easily accessible. If I had it figured out I would have done it already. So those spots are a big challenge to me. Hopefully I can come up with something that works.

This illustration is of my GOAL. I'm a long way off, but am making progress. This was done with Prisma Colored Pencils and a watercolor wash on watercolor paper.

I'm working on it! 

I read a tip on a blog/website that seems to work. It said to give the feeling of less clutter - even in a visually-busy, heavily decorated house, keep the horizontal surfaces free. It showed photos of walls filled with books, and lamps, and drawers, yet the house felt 'clean' - and that was because the horizontal surfaces like counter tops and table, and floor were clutter free. The page was from The Small Notebook. I really like her blog; however, it is an older blog, and she hasn't posted anything recently. I'm not sure why. This is a paragraph of hers: "When you have clear surfaces, your room is ready to be used. You can come in and set down your drinks and popcorn bowl on the coffee table. You can eat dinner at the table without sitting next to the paperwork. Your bed is ready for you to stretch out on it. The room welcomes you. It’s not a place to hold your stuff, it’s a place where you can live."

Anyhow, I was intrigued. I tried it. It works! When the dining room table was clear, and the shelf by the phone was clear of clutter, it felt like a breath of fresh air. I like it! It feels like cheating housecleaning. It's fun to walk from room to room and feel 'lighter'.

Now, be warned, it doesn't stay that way long. All it takes is one person to walk by and the table is filled again. I swear, a clean table-top is like a magnetic - people can't resist the urge to stack things there. It's kind of like, the minute your have all the dishes done and put away, then you feel the urge to bake something! There is something about having open space makes you want to fill it, and put your mark on it. Like the Wild West, in your own home.

But I am going to do my best to keep at it. It feels good to have clear table top and dresser - it is already filling up - so I'll have to work at it daily. I just completed my first week of the Decluttering Challenge you can read more on my Facebook page. (I've been documenting my progress with photos.) I'd say my emotions feel 'energized' at this point. I have a long way to go, but I am feeling the excitement of making a dent in my cluttered chaos. Each time I walk into a room my eye goes toward the de-cluttered area, and it makes me feel good. I'm on a roll!

I'm working on it! 

This simplified pen and ink drawing is of our living room/dining room area. We live a small, old home, and have a LOT of stuff packed in. I've found the clearing of horizontal surfaces really helps to open up the area. Now if I could only keep it that way!

Project 333 is a challenge which is different than the De-cluttering Challenge which I am doing in September. Geeesh…..there are a lot of challenges going on recently. Really...I'm not making this stuff up. :-)

Project 333 is a minimalist wardrobe challenge where for 3 months you only use 33 items. It is created by Courtney Carver.  It is a way to live with less, which is my goal. The people who do this give rave reviews of feeling liberated, freer and lighter. Once they try it, they don't go back. It sounds great, to me. 

If you already live with less - then I applaud you! I, however, am a collector (hoarder maybe?) of clothing … it just accumulates over the years … and that is what I am working on eliminating.

I already do switch out my clothes every 3 months. I know that some people change out clothes just twice a year, or not at all, but for me, living in such a transition climate, I find in about three months, I am ready to switch colors, fabrics, and textures. 

If you know me well, you know I have a plan. September 1st is the day when I begin my De-cluttering challenge, I am really looking forward to that. September is also when I am going to ease into the 'new' wardrobe for the months of Sept., Oct., Nov.  I say 'new' in quotes, because it isn't like I'm unveiling a brand-spanking-new wardrobe. These are the same pieces I've had from seasons and years ago, some I've been currently using, some have been packed away for the summer months.

I've been playing around with numbers and options, on paper...I am getting close to 333.  Well, kind-of, sort-of. This might be my 338 Challenge. I know that to have a limited wardrobe work, it's best to have a simple color scheme, or pieces that mix and match well. My plan is to have one neutral (I use camel/khaki) and then have a accent color or two. For me the camel/khaki is year round, then for 3 months I switch out my accent colors.

This season, rather than jump to Fall colors, I am keeping the nautical favorites but transitioning them into cooler months. I have my camel/khaki as my neutral, and the other colors I am using are navy and ecru (off-white). So I pulled a few warm weather and cool weather pieces that coordinate together and I'll wear these everyday for 3 months. By Nov. I'll be sick of them (you probably will tire of looking at them too) or they'll be too ratty, and I'll be ready to haul out my 'new' selection. My plan is that in Nov., I'll keep the neutral camel/khaki, and put away the navy and my new accent colors will be gray and Robin's Egg Blue/teal. I'm looking forward to those colors already.

So that's my plan! I am going to tweak it a bit. The traditional 333 Challenge numbers include EVERYTHING except undergarments. It includes coat, jacket, sunglasses, tights, t-shirts, scarves, shoes, boots, accessories - everything - only 33 items. [Check out an awesome site here.] For that to work, it's like 3 pair of pants, 2 skirts or dresses, 4 shirts, 2 sweaters, 2 purses, and so on. My situation is needing some business clothes for work, and some casual clothes for home and play. I also need a few pair of socks, tights for skirts, and then boots or booties to go with them. So I think I need a few more accessories, realistically. I am reducing it to what I think I can pull off. There is a person that does a site called UNFANCY. I like her realistic advice. She shoots for 37 pieces not including accessories and jewelry. Regardless of the exact number. I'm shooting for far less stuffed in my closet than I would have had before, and that is the spirit of the challenge. My closet and drawers feel less cramped. It feels better. Bring on the new month!

I'm working on it!

Is it just me or do you, too, feel a bit annoyed at having to use up the last of a product before you can start on a new and improved one? What do you do? Keep using it or toss it out?

Let's say you've been using a products for awhile and you decide it isn't working like you had hoped anymore. Or maybe you've found another, better product that promises to be even more effective (for some reason - any reason). So you purchase the new and improved product to have on hand before you run out of the other. Now what do you do?

Why do I think it is a chore to have to use up the rest of the product when I've made the decision that something else is much better? Whether it is a new toothpaste, shampoo, dish soap, or make-up, I feel the same way - I just can't wait to jump in and use the new one. I feel like I have to suffer through the last quarter of the old product (when at one time THAT was the new and improved product).

Isn't that interesting? Is that our human nature - wanting to look forward to the next best thing? I've been trying to analyze that and realized that 'out with the old, in with the new' attitude sometimes gets applied toward cars, houses, relationships, and marriages, too. 

About the using up of an old product, some people I ask tell me that they throw the old product away. It makes sense that once the product is inferior, why use it? But that seems to go against the wish to be frugal. What do you?

I have a difficult time being content with the 'old' product when the new seems to be calling my name. I've been trying to change the way I feel about it. I found a quote on Pinterest that I like and printed it out so that I see it regularly.   It is:  Use it up, Wear it out, make it do, or do without.

I'm working on it.


About the image. I had done this sketch as colored pencil cross hatching. When it was scanned, it seems to blend together as blobs of color. I can't seem to crisp it up. Maybe I'll keep working on it in Photoshop.

I'm doing it! I'm looking forward to purging some accumulated stuff. Do you want to do the challenge as well (only at your house)?

Cate R. knows my mission to downsize and, thoughtfully, sent me a link about someone who was describing a de-cluttering challenge. It inspired me. It feels right to me at this time. I am going to start Sept. 1st (a 30-day month). I'm giving you a little head start to feel inspired.

There are other 30-day challenges, but this one is to eliminate ONE item on day one; eliminate TWO items on day two, and so on. That goes on every through day thirty. When you get to day thirty, you will have eliminated 465 items. I would like to be 465 items lighter! It doesn't matter what you do with the items: trash, give away, sell, resale, goodwill. I'm excited and looking forward to it.

It is in my nature to want to change things up, so to me, it makes sense to do it in reverse. It seems more logical to give away 30 things on day one, 29 things on day two, 28 things on day three, and so on. I imagine that at the beginning I'll be more psyched to make big changes, and by the end of the challenge, I'll be struggling to find things to eliminate…maybe.

I've already been thinking about what kinds of categories of things to eliminate, and making a list. I think I'll do the Tupperware/storage cupboard one day, and sock drawer another day, my linen closet one day, and my magazine bin another. Those are chores I've been wanting to do for a long time.

So…I'm doing it!  I'll be working on it. Are you in?  Anybody……anybody?

There is just something so HAPPY about Carrot Cake! It brings joy to me. It is currently the cake of choice on my birthday or on special occasions. I have Ruth and Diane Hogan to thank for giving me my first taste, as well as the recipe, for Carrot Cake. 

It makes me even happier when on the day after my birthday, when back to reality and the little bit of the 'specialness' has worn off,  I can walk into the kitchen and see that there is STILL enough birthday cake left for breakfast. 

So Happy Day-After-My-Birthday to me….it's a happy day…there is still Carrot Cake!

Why not both?  Creativity. I think it can be expressed in many ways, shapes, and forms.

To me, it is as energizing and relaxing to build a website as it is to draw in a sketchbook. I like to do different things at different times. Drawing, reading, designing, cooking, and gardening, are all ways to express myself and are all facets of who I am. This blog is a current interest of mine.  Hopefully you'll glean something new or interesting from it TO SPARK YOUR CREATIVITY.

(Above) This sketch is one of the dozens in my sketchbook. To keep drawing everyday, sometimes I play around with the mental gymnastics of organizing my wardrobe into a 'capsule' of mix and match outfits. I try to pick a color scheme and see what options I can make in different seasons. It keeps my mind churning and my hand drawing. It is relaxing to me. It also takes me back to my childhood and coloring books and crayons. It is kind of like playing with paper dolls. Being a visual learner, these drawings are just my way of 'thinking' on paper.

Why care about fashion? How we present ourselves is just another facet of who we are and what we do. It is what makes us unique. I know it is odd to be interested in 'fashion' when there are worldwide survival issues that need our attention and there are people who are homeless, hungry, and fighting for everyday essentials. I see the way of Mother Teresa, and her simply lifestyle, and by contrast, an interest in fashion may seem frivolous and materialistic.

But, what interests me about fashion is putting ourselves together in a way that adds intention and beauty in a civilized society. It's playing with color and pattern as in art, but wearing it. At a time when people are using fewer manners in public and language has deteriorated on television and in social situations, presenting ourselves thoughtfully, adds a touch of civility and structure to our lives. I remember my Grandmother Dorothy (see photo below), who dressed presentable EVERY single day. She would don her garters, girdle, slip, dress, earrings and necklace or brooch - like armor - ready for her everyday acts of kindness. If she was doing physical housework, she'd add her apron. It wasn't until she was in her late 70's and early 80's and when was unsteady on her feet that she took to wearing a blouse and 'slacks'. She always presented her self properly and respectfully and that is how she was perceived.

It may seem at odds that I am on a quest to reducing excess and yet I am interested in what to wear and what to buy. I don't think the two ideas are incongruent. I think we can use our interests in style to make better, strategic choices about what we have in our lives. I intend to use this site as a outlet and a forum for us to speak the same language and share ideas.

I hope we can discuss ways to polish our ourselves and our environments a bit in the process. As an artist, I love to notice the little things in life, and the beauty and function and I want to add more of that in my life without adding excess. I want to reduce my belongs in a functional way that allows me to live with less and make it work. That works for the wardrobe.

I really respect the work of Jennifer L. Scott. I stumbled upon her book Lessons from Madame Chic: 20 Stylish Secrets I Learned While Living in Paris because I have to admit I am turning into a bit of a Francophile and I mistakenly thought her book was going to be a how-to-guide for French fashion but it was so much more. It really spoke to my heart and subtly shifted my attitudes on lifestyle and purpose. If anything, she eloquently verbalized what I was feeling inside, and demonstrated that others are living in a way that addresses life with simplicity yet still paying attention to detail. She describes the Parisian way of putting intention and a finishing touch in all areas of life. One of the chapters in her book is about 'Looking Presentable Always' which could be applied to the home or person.

Here is a quote from Jennifer which I like.

"Looking presentable always. A concept that may seem obvious to many people, but is something I think we as a society desperately need to discuss. Looking presentable on a daily basis may initially seem like a shallow and superficial concept, but really it is about so much more than appearances. It's about respect. It's about tradition. It's about honoring formalities that seem to be going by the wayside."

So, thank you Jennifer! You and Madame Chic inspire me to use creativity and intention not only in the wardrobe but in all areas of life. Thanks for changing the way I think about clothing choices and family rituals. Thanks for inspiring me to draw what is on my mind whether it be landscapes or closets. 

So why would an artist be interested in fashion? I think that Art can be about whatever inspires you.  

What inspires you? What do you do to be creative? New recipes? Gardening? Scrapbooking?

I read this quote that is mind-blowing to me. It goes like this:  "Here is the crux of the matter, the distilled essence, the only thing you need to remember: When considering whether to say yes or no, you must choose the response that feels like freedom. Period."  by Martha Beck [Found in an old Oprah Magazine my sister Cyndi passed along to me.]

This quote is so heart-healing and refreshing to me. It is like opening up a gut that is churning with indecision, and letting the answer go free. Ahhhhh.

It is like giving myself permission to listen to the feeling in my core, and ignore the nagging debate going on in my head. 

Our bodies seem to know at the core which we want to choose but we like to ignore the signs and signals and justify our decision based on logic and what we 'should' do. We ignore the gut that tightens like a fist, and the breathing that grows shallow, while we wrestle with a decision.

I guess we should just visualize each yes and no and try to imagine the body's response to each answer. Then, the decision should be simpler. Freedom. Choose the response that feels like freedom. It works. I'm sure the choice isn't necessarily the 'easy' one if it is causing such indecision, but I'm certain it is probably the 'correct' one.

I'm working on it.

Do you have stacks of things, and odds and ends cluttering up the surfaces in your home? You know the old saying "A place for everything and everything in its place". I'm convinced that THAT is part of the problem with collecting clutter…it doesn't have a place. 

The other part or the reason for clutter is indecision. Are you like me and have trouble making decisions - at times? I've found the reason something is sitting out and taking up space, ISN'T because I'm too lazy to put it away; it is because I don't know where to put the item. In that moment, I'm too busy or too distracted and can't make a decision where it should be kept or filed.

My scissors have a spot, so when I use them - back they go. I don't have to think about it. They have a place, and it is easy to return them. But what about the Insurance Form, where should it go? If I have to call about it, but not now, and I don't want to file it away and forget about, so I leave it on the counter. Indecision. I can't decide where it so go, so there it sits. What about the article I need to give to Mom. I don't want to put it away because I'll see her in two days. I want to remind myself, so I leave it out in plain site on top of the growing stack of clutter. Now about the car maintenance receipt, that I'm too busy to put away right now because I'd have to get out the binder, and I have to get dinner started.  I don't want it to get lost in the pile, so I start a new pile by the phone where I'll see it and won't get lost in the shuffle. Sound familiar?

If I look around the house and see things that should be put away, most of the time, they are left out, not because of laziness but because they don't have a 'place'. It is INDECISION. Now sometimes, we are just to plain busy at the moment to put the item in it's rightful place. Or to run it upstairs or downstairs. That isn't stressful. At the end of the day, It takes just 5 or 10 minutes, to run around and put them away. 

It is the INDECISIVE CLUTTER that zaps the energy right out of us. If something doesn't have a place, it gets stuck someplace with other stuff in stacks - in the corner, on the hutch, on the table, over a chair. It takes energy to ignore it and NOT deal with it. It takes energy to push it aside and keep overlooking it.

Did you ever notice how great you feel when you can actually make a decision, find a spot, and take care of the item? That feels like a weight is lifted. Ahhhh.  So sometimes the people that feel they are 'Messies' aren't really Messies at all, they are just poor decision makers  (or have too much stuff to find a place but that is another story). 

If you have something you don't know what to do with, then find a spot, or make a folder as a place-holder that says "To be filed" and feel good about putting it away IN ITS PLACE 'to be filed for now'. If it helps, make a bin just for temporary things that need attention and make a date to attend to it. At least it is put away and you'll feel good about it, and you'll have the energy to move on and the house will be a little less cluttered.

I'm working on it.

Seeing my dark green Collards growing a little more each day, makes me so happy.

On my journey to live with LESS, I am trying to have less processed food in my/our diets. It is not easy to give up old ways (bacon), and it REALLY is difficult to get everyone in the family on the same page (bacon). We are taking baby steps by trying to add in a few more greens. We planted Kale and Broccoli, too. What's nice is that it doesn't take a green thumb to grow them. I purchased a little plant (three to container actually), planted them in a sunny spot in the garden, and water them when they are thirsty.  They just need occasional weeding (once a week or so)  to keep the weeds from competing with them, and you just let them grow. They look lush and a deep colored green. They make me feel like I am doing something good, for the earth, and for us. They look beautiful and makes me feel like I accomplished something.

The Collards and Kale aren't even a foot tall yet, but already have leaves that we harvest. It makes me feel connected to the planet, to go out the postage stamp sized garden an pluck a few leaves to cook for dinner. Even though we in city-suburbs, and the sidewalk is a few feet away, and we can hear the traffic from busy streets around us, I still feel a sense of wellness and contentment when I look at that little garden.

I was given some great Collard Recipes, most have grease (bacon) and/or butter, and are heavily cooked (heavily delicious, too, did I mention bacon?) But we are trying to integrate them into healthier dishes. We love Kale Mashed Potatoes (recipe from Rick and Pamm). We started adding the chopped up Collard leaves to stir-frys and Herb-Linguine (just like you would spinach). So we're taking baby steps. Planning to add more 'good stuff' and buy less of the 'bad stuff' (BBQ potato chips which are my weakness). Here is a site that tells the benefits of Collard Greens.

So bring on the summer and sunshine, and let it feed my little green plants, and they can feed us! And keep away the little green worm that is trying to turn the leaves to lacework. I'm working on it.

I learned a tip how to avoid procrastination that seems to help. Maybe you'll find it works for you, too.

To talk about energy and affirmations may be too 'kookie' or 'New Age' for some people but I've tried this technique when faced with some basic chores, like doing bills and laundry, that I had been putting off and it seems to help motivate me.

Before I explain the simple technique, I want to mention that this comes from the work of Carol Tuttle. Carol is the creator of a system of Energy Profiling based on qualities of who you are since birth as expressed through your movement. She says people generally fall into 4 Energy Types. If you are true to your nature you will feel a sense of peace, balance, and ease. Carol Tuttle has also taken Energy Profiling and applied to how we present ourselves and came up with the program Dressing Your Truth  (I'll cover some observations in another blog.)

Carol explains that who we are and what we do is energy. She says ideally we should all move through life with EASE and not force. For instance, which would you prefer to do a task that is your idea and you WANT to do it? Or to do something that someone is forcing you to do? That's an easy one.

This is all you do: FIRST - When faced with something you are hesitant about or procrastinating on, ask yourself a couple of questions. (This works on chores and smaller things in life.)

"Is this something that is correct for me?" In other words, do we hesitate because it is illegal, immoral, dangerous, against our nature, or intuitively wrong and our subconscious is stopping us?

NEXT, ask yourself "Is this something I 'want' to accomplish or is it something I 'should' do?" She says when we use the word 'should' we have the feeling of being forced to do something and we dread it and want to avoid it.  She says we shouldn't "move through life with force". [I remember a Martha Stewart article a long time ago about something similar, only she didn't discuss it with 'energy' work. Martha had recommended rephrasing - instead of "I have to do laundry", say "I want to get laundry done".] Sometimes, something may feel like a 'should' but it is really  "I want to have it done but it isn't going to be fun".

THEN, if you decide to continue with a task, before you begin it, she says to visualize THE FEELING you'll have when you accomplish it. She says, "...examine 'What does it feel like to have that done?' 'What would you be saying to yourself? Say that now.' " 

It's as if, by tapping into the relaxing feeling of having the chore done, it charges you with energy to put the chore in motion.  She says that visualization puts the energy into motion before you physically start the task. She says it "Creates momentum to carry you to accomplish things."

I like to think of it as the DOGGIE PADDLE. You know how when hold a dog over the water, instantly all four legs start paddling like crazy, and they haven't even touched the water yet? Their little bodies are putting the energy in motion before it is needed. It's kind of like that! Once you visualize the FEELING and emotion of having the task completed, you feel the apprehension flow away and energy will feel recharged. Then, you are well on your way and motivated to put the task in motion - and that is half the battle.

So, think about your next chore, ask yourself some questions and DO THE DOGGIE PADDLE! "Set the energy into motion with more ease without force." See if it works for you!

Thanks to Google satellite view! Maybe you remember the old song The Wildwood Weed performed by Jim Stafford. (If not, follow the link. It's cute.) Well, I'm not talking about THAT kind of trip, but a DIFFERENT kind. I'm talking about the amazing ability to pick a place and view the streets as if you were there - a place you'd only get to see by planning a trip or vacation.

I'm really getting to appreciate Google satellite view. It can be helpful. I've been reading a book called Island Girls by Nancy Thayer. The story takes place in and around Nantucket, MA. She describes the homes and shops in the winding streets, and mentions street names. So I plunked in Nantucket, MA in Google, zoomed in, and clicked on satellite view. It's like I am there! I can see the overhead view, and see the streets, trees, pools, and beaches. If you click on the street level, you can jump ahead house by house. You see the people on bikes and walking by at the time the Google van went by taking photos. Real live images of the real thing, as if I captured it with my camera.

I wish my Grandpa was alive to see this technology. He would have thought it was fantastic! I know I do. It came in pretty handy a number of times. Being a visual person, it is helpful to see the building front, or surrounding area, when I am visiting a place for the first time. Once when we were on a Girls Weekend in Savannah, GA, we hit all the tourist-y shops. I was limiting myself and wouldn't allow myself to get a t-shirt. I had seen this one adorable one, it reminded me of my sister, but I was sticking to my limit and passed it by. After the fact, back at home, I kept thinking of that shirt and wouldn't let the idea go. I thought it would be nice to get it for her - and get one for myself as well.  I thought of ordering it, but couldn't remember the name of the shop although I could see it in my memory. BINGO…Google satellite to the rescue. I searched the streets online, as if I was walking downtown, myself. I scanned storefront, by storefront and found it. With the name of the shop, I got the phone number online, and I called and ordered it.

Navigating the controls takes a little getting used to. You can zoom in or out, or click on a spot further down the street and the view will jump to that section of the street. It even allows you to turn a 360 degree angle. Obviously, travel and having the experience first hand is ideal, but when you can't, isn't it nice to have a 'virtual' trip - and never leave the farm?! 

After this loooooooong winter, spring has sprung in Michigan! The trees now have tiny buds, and green is making its way up from the earth and is emerging from the brownish-gray branches. I love the vibrancy of the green. This is a watercolor base over which I worked some chalk pastel and prisma pencil. I tried to capture a splash of green….not too fussy. I love the awakening of color.

From my sketchbook:  Basking in the warmth of memories of the summer, here is a quick sketch I did of my sister Linda as she was chatting on the phone with her daughters. We were visiting a quaint little nook at an artist's store on Loon Lake while taking advantage of some wi-fi. Linda is currently busy, busy, working on a benefit for her husband. More on that later!

I did this sketch on the shore of Loon Lake, northern Lower Michigan, at Linda and Brian's Cottage. 

Over the last few days I've been thinking about the impressive conditions we witnessed when we visited the ice covered pier at Grand Haven, MI. I thought I might do some drawings of that, but couldn't bring myself to work on them. I've had enough of this relentless string of snow, ice, and frigid temperatures. I wanted some GREEN to warm the soul. I thought this was fitting to share because we are currently planning a benefit for my Brother-in-Law Brian. Because of his illness he hasn't been able to get up to their cottage. 

This is my way of spreading hope and looking forward to the warm days ahead when he'll feel well enough to get back to Loon Lake.