Completed! Finished! Peel off the tape! Cross it off the list!

Isn’t it just the best feeling to complete something and cross it off your list? It gives such a sense of accomplishment. It’s not just the big tasks, but the small ones as well. I need that validation that I am making progress in all the things I am working on each day. 

I don’t know about you, but I am a list maker. I need to organize my thoughts and get them down on a visual list either on paper or on my phone. I make lists of what I need to buy. I make lists of what projects or goals I need to work toward. My most important list is my daily tasks list. That is a list of the things I need to do or errands I need to run in a day. 

Crossing something off my list gives me my own personal applause. It is like getting a gold star on a chart or a standing ovation. It is my own little boost of ‘well done’ and that brings me joy. 

Sometimes when life is stressful or I feel like I am just treading water, I add things to my list that I would normally do anyways, just to give myself a boost. I know that is silly. ‘Exercise and stretching’ I’ll add it to my list. ‘Take a shower’ I add that to the list. ‘Put away dishes’ I add that to my list. And before I know it, when I leave the house in the morning, I’ve already crossed off four or five things from my list. It helps me to feel successful.

Recently, I completed a large personal project I’ve been planning in my mind for about for the last ten years. Until this last month I never actually started the illustrations for the project. But with this extra time off and mental clearing, I methodically worked through all 27 illustrations. The relief came when after each drawing I could peel off the tape and cross it off my list. It was a beautiful exhale. It felt great. Now onto making the list of pre-press tasks and tackling that next stage. 

I’m working on it.

I saw an interesting little rosary in an antique shop in East Grand Rapids. When I first spied it, in a cluttered, dark case, amid the tie clips and worn out lighters, I thought it was a treasure! It looked like a rosary made for an artist. Each decade featured a different colored opal-like bead. My heart leapt with joy as I ran the colored beads through my fingers and imagined it inspiring my quiet meditations. I was ready to make it my own until. . . I noticed the imperfections.

Missing from the crucifix was the figure of Christ. There was just a rough, metal cross with holes where the figure originally would have been attached. To me the crucifix is an important part of the rosary. It is the starting point of the rosary and the place where it ends - the beginning and the end. It is the foundation of our Catholic religion - the symbol of Christ dying on the cross for each of us. I felt a little deflated in its absence; it even felt a bit sacrilegious.

And then I noticed that the red-rosy decade was missing four beads. That wouldn't do. With all the imperfections, the rosary seemed spoiled.  So I thanked the seller and had him put it back because I couldn't buy it if it wasn't perfect or complete. How could I use it or appreciate it if it wasn't all there? I had such a hard time letting it go since I liked it so much, so right then I made up my mind to go home and try to find out if I could fix it, then I'd go back to get it. I would do what I can to make it complete again.

Back home, I began searching the internet for similar rosaries, or bead-making distributors where  hopefully, I could find matching beads. No luck. I searched for months, on and off, but never found anything that was close. I resigned myself to the fact that I had to get that rosary out of my mind and forget about it.

A few months after that, on one of our antique shop explorations, we visited that shop again AND IT WAS STILL THERE! I was happy to see it like a long lost friend. I asked to hold it again and finger the smooth, small beads but this time I had a flash of enlightenment. As I held the rosary I had a message so clear in my mind: that it IS imperfect, and that is okay, because so am I. I was able to see that rosary in a new way, and made it my own.

I am, now, okay that Jesus is no longer hanging on the cross because he is risen. I see that broken, vacant cross is a sign of my faith. And the beads that are missing are okay as well. I like to think of it is as God is giving me a free-pass. When I reach that decade instead of doing ten 'Hail Marys',  I only need to do six because he knows of my trials and is giving me a break. It makes me smile when I am working through that decade - a secret between me and God. 

So that is how I view it. I now accept that the rosary - my rosary - as being imperfect and am learning to accept and embrace my imperfections as well. There is probably a great story to go along with the broken rosary and how it came to be that way, I wonder what it is?  Anyhow, now my rosary serves to remind me to try and look at things from a different perspective and not to judge someone or something by whether or not it is perfect but accept the uniqueness. 

I'm working on it.