Day 7 Post surgery. It was so much harder than I anticipated. I was gauging the recovery of my bilateral mastectomies on how well the recovery of my two lumpectomies went. But this was a whole different beast. The constant uncomfortableness can not be stressed enough. It was a lot. It was uncomfortable and pinchy to breathe, to move, to sit, to lie. There was pressure and pain from tight binding on the outside and from the inside where the drain tubes were scraping. It just was NOT fun. There was a constant reminder of uncomfortableness that would only be relieved with time. Did I mention how uncomfortable it was?

But I kept busy with being proactive about my care. I recorded temperature, and cleaned and stripped my drainage tubes twice a day. I recorded and emptied by drainage bulbs twice a day at first, and then later just once a day. There wasn't much more I could do. It brought flashbacks of having a newborn baby. I remember that uncertainness, and the only confidence was recording our progress. I remember writing down times of wet diapers and bowel movements, and baths. This felt the same.

​I was grateful for family and friends that stopped by to lend a hand with care and company. I was surprised with a candlelight vigil as family and friends gathered outside on the sidewalk to wish me well. I was blessed with all the people praying for me, for my recovery, and for good results from the pathology reports. I was just in a metaphorical cocoon, holding me tight, and my body doing physical work that I had no control of. Only time would tell the outcome.

I had no idea what was going on under the wraps. I was advised not to change bandages or shower that area until my 7-day checkup. The weather had been warm and the bindings were beginning to have an odor I feared was infection. I worried that something was oozing or putrifying under wraps. My imagination was making up horrifying scenarios. But I had no fever, so I had to put my faith in my body knew what to do.

The other fear that plagued my mind was that THIS surgery, and pain, was just the beginning of the end of me. We had no idea if cancer had spread to lymph nodes and beyond. We DID know that one DCIS was Estrogen/Progesterone Negative which was not favorable and unresponsive to chemotherapy. So my prayers were that all the cancer was contained.

When we got the results from the surgery, where they examined the removed tissue, and sentinel lymph nodes, it was a HUGE, lifesaving relief. It appears that the margins were clear, cancer contained, with no metastasis. That meant I did not need chemotherapy or radiation. Hallelujah! Now I could get on with healing and living. (Still feeling a bit like the other shoe was going to drop.)

I challenged myself to do an Urban Sketchers Meet Up in Holland, Michigan, pretending all was normal, while under my shirt I had bandages and drain tubes. But it felt good to be out and about, driving for the first time since surgery, and doing what I love. I met some wonderful women sketchers that had similar experiences, and I felt like I was part of club. (A club I never wanted to join.) The sharing of stories and support brought tears to my eyes.

The pain and uncomfortableness was still there, and I still needed to have drain tubes in for a few more days, but knowing this was the end of my procedures was a huge sigh of relief. Dr. App had removed my bandages, and all was well and healing nicely. I was on the road to recovery. It was so strange seeing my body for the first time. I was grateful to have my husband and sister there for support. I was glad that the incisions looked great but the missing breasts made me feel a bit disfigured. It took some getting used to.

​The changes and body image is still surprising to me. But I am getting used to it. I'm working on it.

That dreaded purple marker that my breast surgeon uses to mark the shape of things to come. It is messy and difficult to remove. She likes to generously mark where cut lines will be and what to expect. The purple line is evidence of change, but what can prepare a person for that sort of life changing step?

I currently attempting to make preparations for surgery which will be in a few days. Blood is drawn and the marker is scoured away. Now I just tie up loose ends like end of month bills, and wait for surgery and subsequent results. But, what should I do while in this transitional stage?

At this moment, I still have my breasts which I have kind of gotten attached to. In the early years they signaled change and the mystery of growing up. In my young adult years they symbolized coming to terms with my grown up body, and autonomy. As a young mom, I am grateful they were givers of life and sustenance for my baby. It's so odd to think they are growing cancer cells and my body is feeding that growth as if its life depends on it, when the opposite is actually happening.

I am trying to stay in the moment; this moment that God has blessed me with. It is truly paralyzing to think of what may come (for those are the thoughts that race through my mind as I try to fall asleep, or are the first thoughts upon waking). I can't let myself get caught up in the 'why' and 'what could I have done differently to prevent it'. And I can't let myself get caught up in 'what is going to happen to my son, and husband, and family, without me'. Those kinds of thoughts cease me up and bring me to tears. So instead, I breathe and take this moment of peace and gratitude and love the people around me, and do what I have to do.

So, thank you breasts for serving me well. I will move on from here doing whatever I can for health and preservation. Thank you to my friends and family, who have crossed my path for a while, or have walked this life together. I'll try to stay grateful and remain p r e s e n t because there is peace in that.

I am working on it.

I just got the news that a dear, dear friend passed away today.  I feel like I am missing my guardian angel.

Beverly M. is a very kind soul, with a quick wit and bubbly sense of humor. She enjoyed reading and loved her family most of all.  She is one of those people where it feels like I've known her my whole life, but in reality, I've only known her for 6 years.

I am going to miss her willingness to listen, her kindness, her giggle, but most of all her knowledge. She was my mentor of sorts. She helped me start in the part-time job I am currently working. She helped me navigate the bookkeeping system, and office workflow. She had collected a lifetime of bookkeeping knowledge and practical life experience and shared that with me as needed. In the beginning, she sat next to me, to figuratively hold my hand through the learning process, and stayed with me as my 'phone-a-friend' up until the end.

I already miss her for being 'her', but I will also miss her because I feel like I am alone without a safety net. She will no longer be there to answer my questions, or give me moral support to help me through the next quandary. I feel a bit of panic inside because I don't have her to fall back on when the next question arises. I feel like I am approaching my work, very much alone. Like I am in a free-fall.

This scary, sickening feeling is one I've had before. That lost feeling occurred a few years back when another friend and mentor had suddenly passed away. Juliet was so kind, and sweet, and caring. It still feels a bit like a stab in the heart to think she was taken so swiftly. I didn't know she was critical, nor did I get to say good-bye. Juliet was like a life-buoy for me, and to others in the Grand Rapids area. She led a Homeopathic Study Group and was a figurative giant in the La Leche League community. She was the one I would call when, as a new mother, my son would spike a fever late at night I didn't know what to do. She had such a soothing voice and demeanor, and always guided me to the right course of action. I still feel that slight panic when I am facing an emergency. I feel gripped inside with the realization that I can't reach out to her for advice or help. And she isn't in some state of waiting to spring into action when I call.

When I analyze our friendships, beyond who they were personally, I'd say both of those women held iconic roles for me or were archetypes. They were caring, nurturing, informative, and guiding. They were both 'mother' figures in a sense.  "The archetypal mother figure is loving and supporting. They are the rock the Hero can fall back on when needed."

I guess I need to work through those losses and come to the realization that I have the power and the ability to hear the inner voice, and ask the right questions, to find out the information for myself. I am the 'hero' of my own story, and I need to deal with how to handle the questions that arise without their direction. I need to somehow internalize that support as needed. If I listen quietly, I can hear Beverly's way of asking the right questions in a calm way, and untangling the mess of things like unraveling a tangled ball of yarn. She had that power to step back and talk herself through a situation. I need to ask myself "WWBD" (What would Beverly do?)  And likewise, when I am in a medical situation, I can hear  Juliet's gentle, empathetic sigh, and her voice in my mind asking questions. I always ask myself WWJD (What would Juliet do?).

I still grapple with existential questions of how one person can be here one moment, and not the next? How can they have space and a life and then be gone? My faith tells me, they are just gone from view, but not from spirit. I believe their spirit or soul is released from the constraints of the body but now can operate on a larger plan with the Will of God or the Universe. I also have faith that when help is needed, I just need to ask. I have to remember that.

Of course, it is easiest to get my help from a person in the flesh. It is preferable to make a call and hear a reassuring voice on the end of the line. That is why I am SO GRATEFUL for all the times Bevely and Juliet have been a life-line to me. It is an honor to have known and loved each of them, the short time we had together. I appreciate all their support. They did what they knew and loved, and shared that with me.  I am thankful their words and phrases still echo in my mind. Now, rather than being a voice on the phone, they are like angels over my shoulders.

Thank you Beverly, and thank you Juliet, may flights of angels lead you on your way! And my condolences to your families and the ones who love and miss you.

I hope to continue your work and make you proud. Maybe one day I can be a calming voice of assurance in someone else's mind.

I'm working on it.

Welcome to a new year! I was disappointed in myself that I didn't do a drawing on January 1st and everyday since. Then I was thinking about the drawings I could do 'later' that would illustrate my thoughts of this new year. After going down that thought process a while, and reflecting on my thoughts of the last couple of months, I came to the conclusion: I am blessed with this very moment, and to work with what I have, right where I am at. That is the most any of us can do.

So thinking about this new year, I decided to do a quick little drawing, right here, right now, with what I have available. That meant a black sharpie and four highlighters. That is it. I wanted to illustrate the whiteness and brightness of a new start. I wanted to show the freshness of a winter walk, with all the color, and spunk of our little dog trekking through the snow. When she sees something she is excited and invigorated. That's how I want to start into this year - with the hope of all the possibilities of what we will experience along the way.

I haven't made an entry on my blog in almost two months. Life had gotten busy and took a turn we hadn't expected. And like usual, sometimes I put too much pressure on myself, and too many expectations of what I should accomplish and feel badly because of it. That isn't the best way to operate. I need to remind myself to just 'be' for the moment and work with where I'm at. 

I was reminded of that at the recent funeral of my very sweet Mother-in-law who past away before Christmas. The reading of  'A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance.' really represented Rose and hit home to me.  (Ecclesiastes 3:4) She lived simply and liked her days structured. She never ran herself ragged, but enjoyed a steady pace to life, and loved it to flow in an orderly manner. She loved the simple things and her family most of all.

It's sad to think that she isn't there in her favorite chair, doing her word puzzles, until it is time to start dinner. And it's bittersweet to think about the upcoming year, when we are still feeling her loss, and the loss of other loved ones and face all the unknowns ahead of us. But if we live by Rose's example, we should just take one thing at a time, and do that well, then that is the best we can do.

So we start this year anew. I don't know what the days ahead hold for us, but I do know that I am grateful for the day - right here, right now, and we'll face it together, right where we are at! I'm glad you're here on this journey.

Part of my goal of living with LESS accumulation of stuff, means having less in the closet. It seems so obvious that one of the ways to achieve having a simple wardrobe is to LIMIT yourself, but that is easier said than done.

If you are like me, you like choices. You like different looks and styles on different days. It is possible because we have an economic market that allows for so much variety. We have endless stores, catalogs, malls and internet ads. Our capitalist economy encourages consumerism. Most of us are flooded with commercials since birth, so we've grown up with companies enticing and encouraging us to want the next, bigger and better thing. (Being able to afford it, or fit into it is another discussion for another time.)

Fashion-wise, isn't it amazing to see so many choices? We can experiment with classic styles, urban styles, traditional styles and bohemian styles. You can wear your choice of silhouettes: billowy shirts, fitted tops, flowy bottoms, skinny pants. You get your choice of pant styles:  narrow legs, flared legs, capri pants or ankle pants. Then, to make it look right, sometimes you need tall-heeled shoes, flats shoes, knee-high boots, ankle booties. SO MANY CHOICES.

After reading about Jennifer L Scott's observations while living in Paris, she describes one variable to have smaller-limited wardrobe on the ability to find a look and stick to it. She briefly touches on it "Define Your True Style" in her blog, but goes into more detail in her book. She says that French women are shown from an early age how to accentuate their best features and stick to styles that flatter them. In other words, if a woman looks best in a A-line skirt and three-quarter sleeve top - then she'll have a few different colors and fabrics for variety, but keep the same silhouette. If a woman looks best in flowy tops over draping pants, you won't see her in a crisp, structured, business suit another day. She'll stick to a similar silhouette in different colors or fabrics, but will stay true to the style that suits her. She won't be a chameleon switching looks daily. She'll find what works for her and not deviate.

It really makes sense in some ways. It seems liberating to follow the Parisian example and know what works for you and stick to it. It saves time knowing what to buy and it wastes less money trying new trends. But by nature, the American in me wants to rebel and say "but I want it all". I like a variety, and want some days to be classic, or bohemian, or sporty, or demure. That's where it gets messy. More options = more clothes = overflowing wardrobe. That is what I'm trying to avoid and eliminate.

So, that is where I'm at. You've been with me through my decluttering. You know I am working toward a simpler wardrobe, but am still trying to figure out what style suits me best and be happy with it. If I have that in mind, I can eliminate what isn't suitable. 

I'm making some progress. I've been analyzing the thought behind why I choose certain things to wear and why I don't. I've found that my two favorite outfits have the same silhouette, so I am taking that as a cue and using it. Also, I realized that when I wear them, I feel the most like 'me'. So that is another cue. Now, to eliminate what isn't 'me'. One blogger calls it 'your uniform'. To find an outfit you like and duplicate the combination. It makes sense.

I'm working on it.

The sketches above are mine. I did quick, little, individual, gestural drawings to show different proportions and scanned them into my computer, and combined them into one image.

Well, I made it through a whole month of daily decluttering. Thanks for following along on my journey. Now that we are into October, I've been thinking over my experience. Here are some things I learned from my DeCluttering Challenge.

I have a LONG way to go. I think I am working on the tip of the iceberg.

I still have a LOT of stuff. Even though I got rid of some extras, the amount of stuff I have is 10 times that. I am going to continue my journey to pare down my belongings. It is my current goal. I once read a post from a person on a minimalist web site who was trying to live a minimalist lifestyle, and he said that when his Grandmother had past away, all her personal possessions (not furniture) could fit in the trunk of a car. That is, her clothing and special trinkets and mementos. To some people, that may sound pitiful. But if you look at it realistically, she couldn't take it with her. How much stuff does a person really need? And what is the purpose - to leave it for your loved ones? Do they want it?

It is all about making a decision. Sometimes the clutter is there because I just can't make a decision. Facing the messy stack of clutter is depressing. It isn't overwhelming to clean, as much as it is overwhelming to make a decision with what to do with it. Sometimes it helped to literally say out loud "It has to go somewhere, where should it go….file, store, or let it go?"

It gets easier. At first it was slightly painful and difficult to lose my tight grasp on my items. But as the month went on and I was getting used to making tough choices, it did get a bit easier.

I had to go with my momentum - but give myself some slack.  I gave myself certain goals each day. But some days, I felt an emotional block. I just couldn't move forward with that goal. I thought about it and was open to other ideas, and I found that there was another task equally as important, and I could throw myself into. In retrospect, the reason I couldn't move forward with some tasks was that I hadn't been emotionally ready to face them. For instance, the bottom of my closet had personal mementos that I had to make a decision about. I had a mental challenge that I had to be in a particular frame of mind to tackle. I put it off a couple of times before I could face the task. When I was ready, making the choices was easier and cathartic. It helped to be gentle with myself and understanding in the process.

Enjoy my progress. Every little bit of decluttering helps. I have to encourage my progress and remind myself to enjoy the accomplishments, no matter how small. Feeling the rush of excitement when I walk into a room and see a decluttered spot, gives me incentive to do more. I need to recognize the achievement and GO WITH THAT momentum.

It helps to have a lifestyle vision. It helps me face all my possessions and to be discerning by having a vision of what I want my home to be. There are a few minimalist sites I like to visit online, and it is so refreshing to see each of them operate with less 'stuff'. Their homes are easy to clean with less stuff to clutter. They don't spend time and money worrying about what to wear because they have a few pieces that work well together. If they need to move or go on vacation, they just pack their few possessions and go. It seems wonderful to me. When I imagine my home that way, I hold that vision in my mind, and as I pick up each item I ask myself "Does this fit in that vision?" And usually the answer is NO, and I can live with that - so out it goes.

It doesn't help to remove clutter, if there is still more stuff coming in. This is a relatively new way of looking at things for me. This is my new approach to keep from bring in more stuff:

Have a plan. I am a collector by nature. If I see something pretty, interesting, or useful, then I want it. I can talk myself into and justify almost anything.  I've learned that I need to give myself boundaries. My boundaries are my vision and my list. Before I take something into my home and life, I have to see if it is in my plan or on my 'necessary' list. If it isn't, then I have talk myself out of wanting it and bypass it.

Have a buying list. This goes along with my plan. As I go through my day, if there is something I really need, I write it on a list. Or if I see a gap in my home routine or wardrobe, or an item that will make my life easier and fit into my vision, then I write in on a list. Then, I only allow myself to buy what is on my list. As I surf the internet, it is easy to be tempted by hundred of items that pass by me. Let's say a beautiful teal cardigan goes on sale, or a fabulous new mop (one that I am convinced would will make my life easier), then I feel compelled to get it. Right? So what I have to do is to consult my list. Is it on the list? Nope. I have to let it pass.

That's it! So, overall I am really happy with this experience. I thank you for going along with me and for your support and encouragement. I can't believe that a whole month has flown by. My goal was 465 items. I actually eliminated 859! I feel lighter and freer. Ahhhhh. I'm going to keep at it. (Don't worry, I won't be posting my progress every single day.) I have to admit, that it is getting easier to part with junk…I mean possessions. My husband and son are even eliminating some stuff. It took years to accumulate, so I imagine it'll take some time to let it go. We'll see where we are a year from now.

I'll keep working on it!

If you want to read my daily comments about my 30-day decluttering challenge, and see my progress through pictures, you can click on this link.

I'm doing it! I'm looking forward to purging some accumulated stuff. Do you want to do the challenge as well (only at your house)?

Cate R. knows my mission to downsize and, thoughtfully, sent me a link about someone who was describing a de-cluttering challenge. It inspired me. It feels right to me at this time. I am going to start Sept. 1st (a 30-day month). I'm giving you a little head start to feel inspired.

There are other 30-day challenges, but this one is to eliminate ONE item on day one; eliminate TWO items on day two, and so on. That goes on every through day thirty. When you get to day thirty, you will have eliminated 465 items. I would like to be 465 items lighter! It doesn't matter what you do with the items: trash, give away, sell, resale, goodwill. I'm excited and looking forward to it.

It is in my nature to want to change things up, so to me, it makes sense to do it in reverse. It seems more logical to give away 30 things on day one, 29 things on day two, 28 things on day three, and so on. I imagine that at the beginning I'll be more psyched to make big changes, and by the end of the challenge, I'll be struggling to find things to eliminate…maybe.

I've already been thinking about what kinds of categories of things to eliminate, and making a list. I think I'll do the Tupperware/storage cupboard one day, and sock drawer another day, my linen closet one day, and my magazine bin another. Those are chores I've been wanting to do for a long time.

So…I'm doing it!  I'll be working on it. Are you in?  Anybody……anybody?

Why not both?  Creativity. I think it can be expressed in many ways, shapes, and forms.

To me, it is as energizing and relaxing to build a website as it is to draw in a sketchbook. I like to do different things at different times. Drawing, reading, designing, cooking, and gardening, are all ways to express myself and are all facets of who I am. This blog is a current interest of mine.  Hopefully you'll glean something new or interesting from it TO SPARK YOUR CREATIVITY.

(Above) This sketch is one of the dozens in my sketchbook. To keep drawing everyday, sometimes I play around with the mental gymnastics of organizing my wardrobe into a 'capsule' of mix and match outfits. I try to pick a color scheme and see what options I can make in different seasons. It keeps my mind churning and my hand drawing. It is relaxing to me. It also takes me back to my childhood and coloring books and crayons. It is kind of like playing with paper dolls. Being a visual learner, these drawings are just my way of 'thinking' on paper.

Why care about fashion? How we present ourselves is just another facet of who we are and what we do. It is what makes us unique. I know it is odd to be interested in 'fashion' when there are worldwide survival issues that need our attention and there are people who are homeless, hungry, and fighting for everyday essentials. I see the way of Mother Teresa, and her simply lifestyle, and by contrast, an interest in fashion may seem frivolous and materialistic.

But, what interests me about fashion is putting ourselves together in a way that adds intention and beauty in a civilized society. It's playing with color and pattern as in art, but wearing it. At a time when people are using fewer manners in public and language has deteriorated on television and in social situations, presenting ourselves thoughtfully, adds a touch of civility and structure to our lives. I remember my Grandmother Dorothy (see photo below), who dressed presentable EVERY single day. She would don her garters, girdle, slip, dress, earrings and necklace or brooch - like armor - ready for her everyday acts of kindness. If she was doing physical housework, she'd add her apron. It wasn't until she was in her late 70's and early 80's and when was unsteady on her feet that she took to wearing a blouse and 'slacks'. She always presented her self properly and respectfully and that is how she was perceived.

It may seem at odds that I am on a quest to reducing excess and yet I am interested in what to wear and what to buy. I don't think the two ideas are incongruent. I think we can use our interests in style to make better, strategic choices about what we have in our lives. I intend to use this site as a outlet and a forum for us to speak the same language and share ideas.

I hope we can discuss ways to polish our ourselves and our environments a bit in the process. As an artist, I love to notice the little things in life, and the beauty and function and I want to add more of that in my life without adding excess. I want to reduce my belongs in a functional way that allows me to live with less and make it work. That works for the wardrobe.

I really respect the work of Jennifer L. Scott. I stumbled upon her book Lessons from Madame Chic: 20 Stylish Secrets I Learned While Living in Paris because I have to admit I am turning into a bit of a Francophile and I mistakenly thought her book was going to be a how-to-guide for French fashion but it was so much more. It really spoke to my heart and subtly shifted my attitudes on lifestyle and purpose. If anything, she eloquently verbalized what I was feeling inside, and demonstrated that others are living in a way that addresses life with simplicity yet still paying attention to detail. She describes the Parisian way of putting intention and a finishing touch in all areas of life. One of the chapters in her book is about 'Looking Presentable Always' which could be applied to the home or person.

Here is a quote from Jennifer which I like.

"Looking presentable always. A concept that may seem obvious to many people, but is something I think we as a society desperately need to discuss. Looking presentable on a daily basis may initially seem like a shallow and superficial concept, but really it is about so much more than appearances. It's about respect. It's about tradition. It's about honoring formalities that seem to be going by the wayside."

So, thank you Jennifer! You and Madame Chic inspire me to use creativity and intention not only in the wardrobe but in all areas of life. Thanks for changing the way I think about clothing choices and family rituals. Thanks for inspiring me to draw what is on my mind whether it be landscapes or closets. 

So why would an artist be interested in fashion? I think that Art can be about whatever inspires you.  

What inspires you? What do you do to be creative? New recipes? Gardening? Scrapbooking?

I read this quote that is mind-blowing to me. It goes like this:  "Here is the crux of the matter, the distilled essence, the only thing you need to remember: When considering whether to say yes or no, you must choose the response that feels like freedom. Period."  by Martha Beck [Found in an old Oprah Magazine my sister Cyndi passed along to me.]

This quote is so heart-healing and refreshing to me. It is like opening up a gut that is churning with indecision, and letting the answer go free. Ahhhhh.

It is like giving myself permission to listen to the feeling in my core, and ignore the nagging debate going on in my head. 

Our bodies seem to know at the core which we want to choose but we like to ignore the signs and signals and justify our decision based on logic and what we 'should' do. We ignore the gut that tightens like a fist, and the breathing that grows shallow, while we wrestle with a decision.

I guess we should just visualize each yes and no and try to imagine the body's response to each answer. Then, the decision should be simpler. Freedom. Choose the response that feels like freedom. It works. I'm sure the choice isn't necessarily the 'easy' one if it is causing such indecision, but I'm certain it is probably the 'correct' one.

I'm working on it.

Really! It's a goal. Well, maybe not necessarily TEN items, but a Simple Wardrobe. You know how some people dream or visualize themselves winning the lottery? Well, I imagine having a Simple Wardrobe AND BEING CONTENT with it. Wouldn't that be dreamy? It is to me.

Over the past year, in my spare moments of the day, for fun, I've been making lists and reconfiguring the contents of my closet like a CFO crunches numbers. On paper, I've been choosing my favorite few pieces, and mixing and matching them and eliminating the others that don't work. It is like Sartorial Sodoku. 

Since reading about Jennifer L Scott's Ten-Item Wardrobe, I've imagined...dreamed...of having one of my own. On 2/7/11 she made a blog post about her Ten-Item Wardrobe - Getting Started. Since November 2012 when her book was published by Simon & Schuster, it has been getting worldwide exposure. Each Spring/Summer and Fall/Winter, Jennifer posts her new Ten-Item Wardrobe video on her blog. It is fun to see what she has put together, and watch her use the combinations in creative ways. There are thousands of people following her progress.

If you are intrigued about her Ten-Item Wardrobe, like I am. It isn't her total number of articles of clothing. She doesn't count her 'specials' like coats or 'special occasion' wear, nor her t-shirts or undergarments. She uses that Ten-Item number to count her daily basics she mixes and matches. (This is how she realized the need for the Ten-Item Wardrobe.) Since reading about her process, I've been trying to reduce the number of pieces I have. I have collected so many items over the years, since they haven't worn out, or I can still fit into many of them. I hate to get rid of them - which I know probably should - but getting rid of what is still good seems wasteful. At this time, I've kept out a limited number hanging in my closet and have boxed up the rest in bins. Each time I change out the seasonal clothes, I try to weed out a little more from things I haven't worn in a while.

I use Jennifer's writings like a words from a mentor. I use her experience to keep me on track. One thing I like about her, is that she doesn't claim to be a fashionista. She isn't like most Fashion Bloggers that post daily OOTD (Outfits of the Day), or boost of their latest purchases. She doesn't encourage buying or feeding the need to 'keep up with the Jones'. Her recommendation as written in her book or in this earlier blog post is the 'Rejection the New Materialism'. She reminds us all to reassess what we really need, and not get dragged into fast-paced commercialism or the need to spend more. She is all about having a simple look that is flattering, and having  a small number of pieces that you wear until they're worn out, and then the next season you can give away or discard the worn items, and get a couple of new ones. If you purchase higher quality items, they show less wear, and you can keep them from season to season.

Ahhhh to be happy and content with what you have. Isn't that what we all want? But how do some of us try to get there? By wanting the 'next' thing...THEN...we will be happy. Well, I've been really trying to stop that cycle. Awareness comes first. Last year, I really tried to judge what was the difference betwen a need  want and to only get what I really love. This year I was taking a step further and limiting my self and only getting what fits into my 'plan'. I am taking steps to have a simple, limited, wardrobe. Baby steps. At least it is a goal. If I limit what comes in, and eliminate some of what I currently have, Iittle by little I should end up with less.

It's tough. I love possibilities! I love colors and shapes and looks and styles. I enjoy perusing catalogs and seeing different looks, and how stylists put things together. That is an interest and hobby to me, like some people go fishing. So how do I continue that without feeling like I need to buy more? That is the challenge. It's tough to see a trendy new color on the market, and imagine the possibilities in a new blazer or capri pants, or kicky skirt. It's fun to imagine the combinations and really tough not to want it. 

I guess it is the mental gymnastics of wrestling with the wants and needs in my mind, and reminding myself of my ultimate goal. Goal: To live a simplified life in an uncluttered home, surrounded by people and things that I love, so we are free to do what God puts before us. If I keep that in mind, it helps filter the unnecessary things out of the way. It's a challenge; I'm working on it!

I'm not sure if you noticed, or not, there is a current discussion among bloggers and in the news about the trend to have a limited wardrobe. Some of the buzz words you may hear being tossed about are 'core' wardrobes, 'capsule' wardrobes, 'limited' wardrobes or a select number such as a 'Ten-Item', 'Twenty-Item' or 'Thirty-Item' wardrobes. All are names and variations on the idea of having a smaller number of pieces in our closets, mostly separates, that work together to mix and match well. Through experience, people have found that purchasing fewer items allows you to purchase higher quality pieces on your budget. Higher quality pieces usually last longer and have a lower 'cost per wear' .

A smaller - simple wardrobe - I like that idea. I once read a book about Mother Teresa (it is still on my bookshelf - a keeper). It blew me away. Her sacrifice and way of life made a huge impression on me. She had her philosophy and it reflected in EVERYTHING she did. For instance, talk about a simple wardrobe - her wardrobe couldn't get ANY simpler. She had the clothes that she was wearing and one extra set, that was it. No closets or drawers. She had one outfit/religious habit on her body, and one to launder. Done. Simplicity at its simplest. Talk about extreme. Yes - extremely simple! I'm not saying that her wardrobe is my goal (I do like white with blue stripes), but it does challenge me to see the differences between NEED and WANT. She is the only person I know where her needs and wants were the same thing. Over the past year I've been assessing my idea of a simple wardrobe. I am taking steps to reduce my possessions and make a change in my life. 

Some of the advantages of having a simple wardrobe are:

• it takes up less space
  
• it requires less time to shop for and to maintain
  
• it takes less time to think about what you will wear each day (with the help of my handy dandy Outfit Options graph I'll talk about in another post)
  
• it tends to have more 'classic' pieces 
  
• it is easier to mix and match pieces
  
• if you fluctuate in sizes, you are only replacing a couple of core pieces and the rest will still coordinate
  
• it still allows your personality to shine through
  

Another reason I like the idea of a simple wardrobe is that it goes along with the whole 'green' movement to reduce, reuse, and recycle. If we make better choices when shopping, we eliminate excess and have a smaller ecological footprint. At one time shopping at resale shops was for those who couldn't afford department store prices and for college kids for wanted vintage attire. Fortunately, now, shopping second-hand or resale shops (online included) is accepted as a viable way to reuse and recycle clothing. It has an ecological as well as financial benefit.

I've mentioned the work of Jennifer L. Scott before, and I'll do it again. I stumbled upon her book Lessons from Madame Chic: 20 Stylish Secrets I Learned While Living in Paris. It really spoke to my heart and subtly shifted my attitudes on lifestyle and purpose. She's a busy, young mom, who decided to follow the way of the Parisians regarding food, home, lifestyle and to live with a small, sophisticated wardrobe. She writes about her adventure to downsize her closet and live with a Ten-item Wardrobe. I follow her blog. She's inspires me, and many others, to think about the insanity of our brimming closets and make a change.

By purchasing fewer clothes, and making wise choices for the ones we DO acquire, we are better stewards of our resources and of those in our communities. That's my goal. I am a long ways from  'simple'…a long way….but I am taking steps toward that goal. It's as much a mental shift as it is a physical cleaning out of stuff. I'm trying to be ruthless but sometimes it's difficult to lose the grip on things I've collected. Now…onto those shoes!

Have you ever tried using dryer balls in your clothes dryer?

As I was trying to reduce the number of household products, I read about many uses for dryer sheets - like de-static-ing things and preventing insects, etc. BUT as I researched, I repeatedly found articles on the dangers of using fabric sheets for anything.  There are MANY sites warning of the hazards - try reading here and here. Plus, I'm not so sure dryer sheets are a great idea even in the dryer. To support that, over the years, I've found some new stains on my clothes that weren't there when they went into the dryer, and am convinced they came from the dryer sheet residue getting set in the heat of the dryer. So, what do we do?

As I am discovering, there are a few alternatives to dryer sheets. But be aware, switching to a liquid fabric softener is trading one danger for another. Not to worry, one method I've been trying is the little plastic nubby balls you throw in your dryer and forget about. They bounce around and bounce into your clothing and prevent the sticking together of the fabric. Suppliers recommend at least two in a load, but I have about six to make it work. On some days, they don't entirely get rid of static, but I feel a little better knowing I am cutting down on some toxic chemicals around my family. 

Recently, I found some cute little 'hedgehogs' that work better than the round balls. It was a brilliant design idea to have an oblong shape, so when you open your dryer, they don't bounce and roll away very far, like the round balls do. And who doesn't like hedgehogs? They are a bit pricey in some stores, but not when you consider how much you will cut down on not buying fabric softener and dryer sheets. Don't fall for the cheap ones at the flea market or Shipshewana either. I bought those thinking they were a great deal; however the plastic is too hard and doesn't 'give' a little when bouncing in the dryer. I think they are too abrasive on finer fabrics, so I gave them to my dog. Even she won't play with them because they are too hard and sharp for her mouth.

I think the idea of eliminating the toxins we have control over is a good thing (since there are so many we can't control.) I know having PLASTIC around us isn't the best, either. So, I'll keep researching the alternatives. 

Have you found any alternatives that work? Have you read about the little balls you use in the washing machine INSTEAD of detergent? Maybe I'll try those next.

On my quest to Make >LESS< Work by using fewer household products.

I am passionate of this topic, too. Ask my husband who snickers each time he walks into a room and sees me making another 'concoction'. I think we all can do with fewer cleaning products AND fewer health and beauty products.

According to the Environmental Working Group's site (EWG) Skin Deep "our survey of 2300 people, on average, respondents use nine products daily. These contain 126 unique ingredients. One man in 100 and fully 25 percent of women surveyed apply 15 or more products each day." How many of those products are harmful to us? Probably more than you think.

When I was preparing to be a new Mom, and doing all the reading about parenting, I became aware of the function of our skin - our largest organ in the body. It isn't just an external covering but a TWO-WAY barrier. One of the tips for babies, and for us all, is that NEVER put anything on your skin that you wouldn't put in your mouth and eat (since our skin is going to drink it in). That was eye opening for me.

Since then, I've been conscious about what I was smoothing on my skin. I use olive, coconut, or almond oil quite often for the base of many concoctions. I still can't part with the fun of wearing make-up, for now, but at least I can be conscious about what it contains and try to make better choices.

Deodorant

If you want to do one thing to improve your health and well being…you can make your own deodorant. Be aware, that it is not an antiperspirant; however it does stop odor. Our bodies were made to eliminate toxins through perspiration; we shouldn't prevent that. But we can cut down on the odor with a simple recipe. Just mix the ratio of 2:2:1 cornstarch : baking soda : coconut oil, and you may add any essential oils or perfume if you wish. That's it.

In one bowl I mix equal parts of corn starch and baking soda in whatever quantity you wish. Start small like two tablespoons each. Next, I soften the coconut oil to be slightly liquid in the microwave (that is another topic for another time) or if it is warmer than 75 degrees in the house, it may be liquid already. For instance use 1 tablespoon. Then just pour in the coconut oil and mix until it is a runny paste. You can add a perfume or essential oil if you wish. I like to use my Monoi Oil (which is just coconut oil infused with gardenia flowers) or a drop or two of Bergamont Oil which gives it a citrusy clean smell. I store that runny stuff in a little jar and keep in the bathroom. After the shower when I am dried off, I take a nickel-size dab and smear it under each arm and smooth in. Be careful not to rub too vigorously because the baking soda can be a bit abrasive. In colder months, the coconut oil will harden in the container. You'll have to scrap off a fingerful and hold it to your underarms for about 2 seconds and then it will emulsify and you can smooth it around where you need it.

It sounds more complicated than it really is. The benefits are so worth the effort. It does leave a slight powdery residue on dark sleeveless tops at first, but I haven't found that the oil has ever stained anything, surprisingly. My white tops doesn't have any yellowish stains from it, which I was pleased about, and it has never stained my silk blouses.

I've read where some people have added beeswax to it, to keep it soft, but I haven't tried that, so I can't comment on its effectiveness.

So do something good for your body. Begin with just ONE change. Have fun with that concoction. Make it your own! Let me know your results.

The start of summer brings back good memories. Talking about books in a recent blog post reminded me of a childhood treasure….the BOOKMOBILE.

When I think of my summers when I was little, a few of my clearest memories are: waking up and putting on my swimsuit (in hopes of running through a sprinkler or a kiddie pool), waiting by the mailbox and checking it everyday until I got my report card in the mail saying I passed and could move on to the next grade, and waiting until Thursday so we could ride our bikes one mile to where the bookmobile was parked.

Ahhhhh I love that thing. We would park our bikes on a scorching, sunny, day, and step up into the narrow, dark, rolling library that smelled of old books. Not the musty kind, but the old polished kind and those with cloth covers and stitched bindings. It was floor to ceiling bookshelves, and the aisle was so narrow you would hardly fit through. I loved browsing the picture books and choosing a favorite, and filling out the little card in the back. Every book was a new adventure and the different drawing styles drew me right in.

When we were really young, our Mom would drive us, but as we got older, we could ride our bikes to where it was parked in our neighborhood.  We would sit on the little step stools and page through the books to get a favorite or two. We had to keep our voices down, because being in there had a certain reverence (policed by a strict librarian). It was such a great feeling being in there. I liked to imagine having a bed in there, and moving in so that could be my bedroom.

That bookmobile is such a fond, treasured memory. Did you have a visit by a bookmobile in your neighborhood?

So, I decided to tackle my bookshelf. Let me preface that with a statement: I LOVE BOOKS.

You can imagine how painful that was to consider getting rid of even a few. The books I have, I don't just read once. I read them over and over. I refer back to them again, over the years. They are like scrapbooks to me. When I pick up a book, I remember when I was reading it, what stage of my life I was in, and what ideas that it prompted. To consider giving it away was like throwing again a scrapbook. The truth is, I have too many.

I keep my books in sections by topic. I have a 'fiction' section, and a 'reference' section which I keep to refer to. I have 'Homeopathy and Craniosacral' section. I have an 'Art' section. But the section I had the most difficult time even considering letting go of was the 'parenting and childhood development' section.

I tried a few times, in the past, to reduce my bookshelf. Each time, I could maybe find one or two books that I'd be willing to part with, but no more. I know I couldn't part with them until I felt ready to release them.

The other day, I took the plunge. I woke up on a beautiful spring morning, and the sun was shining in the that room. I felt the inspiration to take another look. The 'parenting' section by far, was the hardest to consider. As I looked through the books, I noticed my breathing had changed and I was feeling turmoil inside and a bit apprehensive. 

I sat with the feeling and breathed through it. I had to acknowledge all the hopes and dreams I remembered as I was reading these books. I thought about all the good memories of reading those through my pregnancy, and the times I was frantically searching through them for some magical cure for colic. I had so much invested in those books, but that stage of my life has passed. 

The way I turned things around was to be grateful for their help, and in some way bless them for being there when I needed them. My hope is that they can find their way to someone else who can use their knowledge and wisdom. Maybe I'll write a note inside each one for the new owner.

All and all, I was able to let go of 3 stacks of books. It felt good, and renewed my energy. Hopefully the books I love can find their way to someone who can treasure them, like I did.

In honor of my Mother, Mary Alice. Thanks for all you've done for your family. I am so honored to have you as my Mom. Happy Mother's Day! I love you lots. The first drawing is of you "just laying down for a few minutes to rest my eyes", and is how I fondly think of you. These were drawings from my sketchbook from 1989.

In honor and remembrance of upcoming Mother's Day, I am posting a series of drawings from my sketchbook. These drawings were done in 1989. That is when I had a Life Drawing Class, and was busy recording daily life in my Sketchbook. 

Above, is my Mom, Mary Alice, typing on her typewriter. It was a fancy electric one that had a memory. It was way before personal computers. Her lumps and bumps are a bit out of proportion, but I like it because it jogs my memory. It makes me smile when I think of my Mom typing away at the kitchen table.

Below, is my Mother-in-law, Rosalie. This is her favorite sitting spot, where she rests and watches her 'shows' on TV. She is the sweetest person, and loves her routine. We all know not to stop in between 1-2 pm, because that is when she eats her lunch and watches her soap opera. 

I love them both, dearly, and am blessed to have them in my life.

In honor and remembrance of upcoming Mother's Day, I am posting a series of drawings from my sketchbook.

This is a drawing done in 1989. I had no eraser at the time, otherwise I would have cleaned it up a bit more. It is special to me because it is of my Grandmother Dorothy Sedlecky. It was done at her apartment. It has a violet plant in the background, and I always think of her when I see them.

Grandma prayed everyday for her family and others, and I'm sure she is praying as fervently, while in Heaven. I love and miss you Grandma. It is nice to remember the time we've spent together.

I was called for jury duty, today. It is not what I was looking forward to, but, I suppose I was pleased to serve to ensure our freedoms. 

It was my day off today, and I felt a bit disappointed that the weather was so beautiful, and I had to use up my day in court - but - it all worked out. I was really glad that the number of jurors ahead of me fulfilled their quota, so after a couple of hours, I was free to go home. 

Here are some sketches I had done, as I was trying out my new Sailor Calligraphy Pen. I did no pencil preliminary underdrawing; just some scratchy line drawings to engage my mind. The pen has the ability to do thick and thin lines, but takes a little getting used to it since it is not a roller-ball, but an old-fashioned style calligraphy pen.  With those types of pens you can't really do circular movements, mostly side to side. The jury is still out……pun intended….whether I like the pen or not.

I had done some drawings from my sister Diane's photographs of Paris. I gave the finished drawings to her as a gift. She loves Paris and visits each year.  I wanted her to have some scenes to keep. I've never shared these preliminary sketches. They have a slightly different feel than the originals. The medium is charcoal on paper. I was just trying to work out the compositions. 

The bottom finished drawing was called TREASURE SEEKERS because my sister loves crows, and both crows AND Diane are known to be treasure hunters. They both search for treasures wherever they go. I was working out how I would have her meet a crow and exchange treasures.

Just for fun. This is a sketch that makes me laugh. I drew it from memory of posing for a photo at my Mom and Dad's house on their deck in front of a tree. I was just trying to work out shapes and proportions. I was trying to work out traits recognizable. If you know us, maybe you can recognize my husband, son, and me….not flattering in the least of any of us.  It's just a sketch, but something about it I like.

Showing this is my way of opening up and building confidence. Ordinarily, I'd NEVER show something like this to anyone. It is just a personal exercise. But I am realizing that I like drawing more when I don't have to be so exact and critical.  I like the gestural quality of sketching. So, maybe I'll explore THAT direction. Come along for the journey!